Mom (dedicated on mother's day)

Today is mother's day, and for me it's the first one without my mom. This post is dedicated to her memory. I loved my mom as much as my daughter. My mom always supported me, when I joined delta, when I joined the PMC, and when I was in college for herpetology.

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My family was catholic, but I didn't want anything to do with the church. Mom completely excepted my decision and took a lot of crap from my family for it, but she didn't leave me by myself. I asked mom why didn't she take their side, she said it's because they are siblings, but I am her son. I was adopted by my aunt and uncle, but she loved me like I was her biological son, that's the kind of person mom was.

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Mom is the kindest person I have ever known, she was a doctor like my biological mother, but my uncle told me that mom would help people even if they could not pay her, he said mom never turned anyone in need away, she even went to their house if it was bad enough. Mom is the reason I am such a nice person. My uncle taught me to be strong and brave, my mom taught me to be kind and forgiving.

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Mom prayed for me everyday when I was in Iraq, I cannot prove God exists, but I want to believe he does, and he heard my mom's prayers to protect me and my team mates. Because I do not believe that people can get as lucky as we did coming so close to death so many times. The first time Vice, Marcus, and T.K came over my mom treated them like her sons also. All three of them still consider her a mom also, same goes for Kang and Lucy.

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Mom never held anything I did in Special Forces against me. As far as she was concerned I could not do anything wrong. I did stuff in the army that makes me not even consider myself a human being at one time. Mom just wrapped her arms around me and said “we all make mistakes, it's how you make up for those mistakes that decides whether you are sorry or not” I never forgot those words she said, my heart was destroyed by the guilt of my past, but she always believed no matter how far I fell, there was still good in me.

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Mom convinced me to bring the other most important person in my life, my daughter Mei. Mom convinced me to adopt her, mom said that I saved Mei, so I need to protect her. I adopted Mei like mom said, that was the best decision I ever made in my life. I was a soldier not a dad, mom showed me how to be both, she showed me how to cook and be a good dad to Mei. Mom helped me every step of the way. She made sure I was doing everything right. Everyone says I'm a good dad, that's because mom was a great teacher ^_^

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Today is mother's day and I can't give mom a physical present, so I put most this post in a letter, put the letter in a mother's day card and burned them. In a private catholic school I attended as a kid, before going to public school by choice, we would burn letters to send them to loved ones in heaven, so they could read them. Thank you mom for everything, thank you for taking me in and supporting me every step of the way. I love you mom and miss you so much, and so does Mei. You made our little family strong mom, you brought me and my team mates, my half brother and sister closer. You made me remember over and over that people make mistakes and can be forgiven for them. That no matter how bad a person seems, their is still good inside of them. Mom I miss you so much, but you taught me as long as someone remains in you heart they never leave you alone.

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