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~Welcome to where I spill my heart out~
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Please enjoy my poems and comment if you wish. All feedback is appreciated and valued.
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Sometimes life throws hard times at us. At those times, we must never forget who we are and what we strive for. Never forget your dreams.
~Razi-chan
Walking outside, looking up at the gray overcast
The weather man never said this would be in the forecast
I never thought I'd have these feelings so fast
I can't believe I don't feel lost, at last?
Although the gray clouds are approaching
It's your bright eyes I wish I were seeing
I still feel unsure, is my judgement still foggy?
Because I still can't belive you feel the same, how can it be?
The gray clouds are here, but I hope for a ray of light
It's hard to imagine not being with you, it's the center of my fright
I only wish for your happiness, for you always relieve my own plights
Until the light comes, will it remain gray, even until the night?
I long for your hand in mine, walking side by side
I may be shy, but this is what I truly feel, I don't want to hide
I can't keep it all inside, our wishes and dreams I hope we someday abide
For so long, I've kept it repressed; to even myself, I can't believe I lied
I only want to be true to you, I only want to be with you
This painful longing, how much longer must it continue?
I want the light I once knew to once again burst through the sky
So I don't have to be left in the dark, left alone, always wondering why
I guess it will just remain cloudy until it's light
Will it ever shine again, the sun?
Look at how far we've come, don't you think our future is bright?
It's painful, but I'm holding on, waiting for that precious time
At first, I thought there wasn't someone out there for me
There were rejections I had to make, I wonder if that was all a mistake
I’ve felt so lost my whole life, questioning if this was all I could be
But can I even determine, whether this path is really a destiny?
Even if it’s a fleeting moment, I’m happiest when I’m with you
It’s the oddest pairing, yet my feelings for any other, are not the same
The darkness fades, and my heart flutters when I see your name
And I honestly, I wouldn’t rather have it any other way
I regret nothing, though I wish some things were different
If only life were simpler, I would be with you
I apologize for not being more honest with myself, and clinging to denial
I guess it’s true when they say; love will always have more than one trial
But however strong the bond, I feel there’s only a vague potential
Of us actually meeting one day, but I know we’ll try to make it happen, some way
No matter what the circumstance, I still care for you, you see
Because even though I’ve built all these walls, you’ve seen right through me
When there’s trouble in your world, I wish I knew more of what to do or say
You lift my spirits when they’re the furthest down, even when all I can do is frown
I can always smile when I’m with you, because strangely, it feels so worthwhile
Meanwhile, I’ve thought I would always be alone, when you were there for me every day
Despite all other distractions, my light was always you
Guiding my way, when I was lost and feeling insignificant
Everyone else’s opinions, appear as mere abstractions
That want to block all I feel, but no matter how I try, I truly can’t contain
The light you send makes it seem too good to be real
And although there are other destinies to fulfill, what becomes of me
I hope we can meet soon, though it seems unclear because the truth is blurred
Will we be the same, as we were when we shared each word?
The grey clouds constantly crawl forward
I walk beneath them endlessly with my head down
I know what is and isn't to come, it's why I frown
I keep walking, yet I don't know what I'm moving towards
The future seems bleak, but possibilities are endless
With so many paths to choose, how do we know which to take?
My hopes and dreams are being washed out by sadness
I'm so lost at the crossroads that I've forgotten what's at stake
They tell me it's wrong to feel I'm alone
It's different for everyone, their years have shown
However that doesn't stop me from trembling
No one seems to acknowledge the message I am sending
It seems like everyone is distant
No one seems to care, but I am always persistent
That no matter what or how much they say
I never believe a word of it, because there's simply no other way
I've arrived at the crossroads of my "destiny"
My pitiful pride and shame have lead me here, you see
But now that I am here, more than ever before, I still feel lost
With so many others that are the same, what different is my own cost?
These crossroads I see before me are once again blurring
Without any direction at all, it's discerning
A mirage of my dreams, the crossroads disappear again
How many times must I endure this unending pain?
Each chance I take, to every transition I make
All the turns I take are wrong
Can I just find the damn way,
if not for my own sake?!
So, as I look back, it all points to one thing
It digs deep into the core of my being
The threads all connect to one source
I try to speak, but my voice cracks and becomes hoarse
Apparently, I hate the word reality
Now I know, I actually hate it's meaning
I've taken this outlook as my new normality
This can't be healthy, my conscious constantly intervening
For a fact, I worry too much, more than necessary
I've gone back and forth, winning and losing with this adversary
It's all a lie, the mask others see, it's one big controversy
I'm tired of hiding, tired of the remarks from society
I never want to settle in life, never want to conform
It seems it's not just my own world I want to transform
I want to be involved in others lives, I want to inform
I want to show others, that I'm not some other simple life-form
To make a name for myself, I cannot let the demon defeat me
I must be able to make it be known, everything that I want to be
Yet all these worries are holding me back, it's so silly
Ridiculous to a point I worry myself sick; I cannot lose to this adversary
Someday, mustn't this torture come to a stop?
Someday, won't I climb to the very top?
Someday, won't I prove them all wrong, show them the truth?
Someday-I know I'm not that smart-but won't I give them the sleuth?
Once in a while they say I get angry sometimes
Well isn't it only natural to give a response?
I'm tired of making up these stupid rhymes
This must be a waste of time; they act as if it's a crime
But isn't it natural to even have a response?
Because the one thing that bugs me is their so-called nonchalance
I may get angry but not always, maybe it's because I have my days
I keep it all bottled up for as long as I can, but that's not how it should stay
So, I may sometimes get angry, but there's usually a circumstance
They misjudge though, I mean seriously, they just take one glance
They don't look again through it all, sure, I guess I'll take my stance
But only when I have to I fight for what's right, I guess I'm stuck in this plight
I try to keep it all locked up, so no one sees what's really there, oh
I hide, it all, they don't really know who I am, no
There's just no way, no one truly gives a care, why can't they just go?
We're all just going through the cycle of life, what do they know?
There's a difference between pissed off and being angry, I vow!
Because, you see, it's difficult to always be
But, they say also, better to be pissed off than pissed on
So why, do they give a crap about how the response is anyhow?
Even if it's an angry response, at least I give one,
It's not like I'm uncaring because caring, I really am
If otherwise I wouldn't give one at all
It seems pointless though, it's what I cannot stand!
So why waste time and actually give a damn?
It's really about time, I'm fed up with making up these stupid rhymes
Why can't they see, who I truly am?
I'm not sad, or happy or mad, I am just me, why can't they see?
